Diversity, schmiversity. Walk away from the Greenlight.

My insides hurt.  Physically hurt.  And I highly doubt it's the Greek food I had for dinner.

I watched the first episode of PROJECT GREENLIGHT tonight.  I heard faint murmurs of a social media uproar over this season, but I wasn't sure what it was about and didn't stay up late enough to investigate (I keep senior citizen hours--dinner at four, bed at eight).  But now I understand it.  Matt (of all people [at least, in my mind--he just seems so wonderful]!) made a statement that, at first, I understood, which was (paraphrasing) you don't hire someone because they fit a diverse profile; you hire on merit/ability.  I get that.  I wouldn't want a job just because I fill a quota, rather, I'd want to be hired because I'm good...AND fill a quota (who am I kidding? I fill three quotas in one and these bills aren't paying themselves, and I'd jump at any chance to work.).  He could've stopped right there, but like so many people do, he continued on, and stepped waist-deep into the Bog of Eternal Stench saying (paraphrasing) having diversity only matters in front of the camera.

This hurts.  On a deeply profound level that I can only begin to pontificate on.


I have admired Matt (and Ben) since I saw GOOD WILL HUNTING.  That film and its quotes have been recalled at very pivotal and defining moments in my professional life.  I was in awe of the movie, the acting, and, more importantly, for me, the writing.  I left jobs because I knew I was capable of so much more than what I was allowed to do.  I was once told by a studio executive, that if I wanted a creative job I would need to leave...as in, leave the studio...the place where they made TV and film.  I finally got the courage to leave that job after another executive quoted a scene from GWH to me, saying every day he'd walk towards the office and hope that was the day where I wouldn't be there anymore (it doesn't sound as sweet in writing, but, trust, it was).  I wanted to be able to be creative.  I wanted to be able to tell stories.  I wanted to be a writer and a filmmaker.  Granted, Matt and Ben's career trajectory is different from what I envision for mine, but the film they became famous for made me feel like I could do what they did, too.  And I've been trying ever since.

So, it's heartbreaking to hear someone I've admired for a handful of reasons say something so thoughtless, yet with such arrogant conviction.  I've never (seriously) thought I've lost out on opportunities because of my gender, or ethnicity, or disability.  I just never wanted to make my success, or lack thereof, about what anatomy I have, or my glorious, glowing, tan skin.  Maybe I should have, because there it was--slapping me, and the much more graceful Effie Brown, in the face.

I understand what he was saying about hiring for quality of work and not just because of diversity.  I don't think I would want a handout like that.  But, if I was one out of a mere ten candidates left standing (most of whom were white and male) after weeding through thousands of submissions, I would say I, along with the other nine candidates, did work that made me good enough for the job, and, I would hope, seeing the small pool of candidates before them, an EP would say, "we thought her work was great enough to bring her this far...she's kind of kooky, she's crass, wearing sweats, and her eye is a little wonky when she's nervous, but she wants this, she's good, smart, capable, and is open to learning and growing...let's see what kind of perspective she has to offer for this story."  And I would've been grateful for the opportunity--not because I should be because of my gender, or ethnicity or because I'd think I was given a handout, but because I love filmmaking and making stories come to life, and every opportunity to do so makes me happy and grateful.  Also, I wouldn't fire the writer.  I'm much more collaborative, and much less of a prick.  I'll say it--that guy didn't deserve the job.  Let's give opportunities to people who want them!


I didn't pick an easy career, and by and large it's been a really soul-crushing road, for a variety of reasons.  But here I am, still stupidly hopeful.  Scenarios like the one I gave above aren't super likely to happen.  And I'm sure there are more executives who think like Matt Damon, and maybe would say it out loud, too.  But if there are more executives like Effie Brown, and a couple others I know, who are carrying the torch and see the value in a different, diverse voice and perspective, it's bound to happen...and then every individual who thought I wasn't capable and I didn't belong anywhere but in an office, politely smiling and nodding while answering phones and making lunch reservations can go kick rocks.